Sexy Pirate
by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa
Summary: Humor/Horror/Romance: Sephy has a secret and Cloud's going to be very surprised. Cloud/Sephiroth -for Yinake-


Sexy Pirate

By: Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-

Dedication: For Yinake. You're going to hell for this.

Author Notes: I don't know whether this is horror or humor. I'll let you decide.

Disclaimer: Sephiroth is not a moe. Cloud is not a seme. And I'm not making money off of this. In fact, I think I want to hide this in a corner and let it die.

* * *

Cloud expected that losing his virginity to Sephiroth would be very different. The man was a god in his eyes when they first met, and even now, after months of corner-glances at one another and the beginnings of a...relationship of sorts... Cloud still looked at the man with wide, adoring eyes. While he did not see Sephiroth a god any longer, he still thought of him as a strong man and warrior.

When they were ready to take the next step in their relationship, Cloud imagined that Sephiroth would be gentle. Even with his big, strong hands that wielded Masamune with deadly precision, they would run against the curve of his thighs and his fingers would find Cloud's body with utmost caution. Cloud would be prepared with tantalizing movements, of strokes and careful caresses. When he would inch himself in, Cloud would bite his cheeks and whimper against Sephiroth's shoulder.

Which is why, on finally making it into the bedroom of the Silver General, Cloud was very, very confused. Sephiroth looked at him and pulled hims close, and whispered into the young blond's ear, "Oh, Cloud." Sephiroth yanked them onto the bed and kissed his lips. Sephiorth's were red with rushed blood, and when Cloud no longer could breathe, Sephiroth pulled them both up. Sephiroth smiled and gently kissed Cloud's cheek before laying himself down on his elbows, leather ass sticking up in the air. "Take me," he whispered huskily, "you sexy pirate!"

Cloud blinked.

Blinked again.

"Wait... what?"

Sephiroth giggled. _Giggled. _"I said," he whispered, green cat-eyes going wide, "Take me, Cloud, you sexy pirate. I want you to come inside of me." Sephiroth accentuated the moment by slapping his ass, loudly.

"Are... are you. What?" Cloud spluttered. "Isn't it the other way around?"

Sephiroth bit his lip, green eyes staring into Cloud's. "I'm a SOLDIER, Cloud... but in the bedroom, well..." He sat back up and grabbed Cloud's hand, putting it against his chest. "I'm Sephiroth in here... do you know what that means?"

_It means you want me to fuck you... YOU. _

Sephiroth touched Cloud and leaned down to place his forehead against Cloud's chest. "I want you to make me yours, make me feel _free_. I want your to take me, Cloud... With your beautiful body. I want you to be inside of me, and make my knees weak."

"But I thought you'd be the one doing that!"

Cloud felt Sephiroth shudder against him. When he looked up, there were tears dotting Sephiroth's eyes.

_Tears. _

This was a very, very bad dream.

"You don't love me, Cloud?"

"Now, I never said that," Cloud said sternly (_oh goddess, why am I even having this conversation with Sephiroth? This is so very, very wrong.) _"I... I just thought that, well... that you'd... that you'd be the one doing the taking..."

"I'm sorry I never told you, but I thought that it wouldn't matter to you. I care very deeply for you, and that's why I want to be your first... I want you to make love to me with everything in you." Sephiroth wiped a few scattered tears from his cheeks, and wrapped his strong arms around Cloud.

"Please, please." Sephiroth's words tickled Cloud's neck and Cloud found himself nodding his head, despite his fears. What was he going to do? He knew a little about sex, but this was going to be his first... hands-on... experience. What if Sephiroth didn't like him? And what if he laughed at Cloud?

"Just... know that I've got no idea what I'm doing," Cloud mumbled as he ran a hand through his hair, but Sephiroth giggled _(**giggled**_) again and laid back down.

"You won't... I trust you. You'll know what to do when it gets there."

The undressed, and Cloud felt a cold sheen of sweat (or terror, he could not decide) on the small of his back. His cock swung at half-mast, most of the nervousness taking out its injustice on the poor thing.

And Sephiroth, in all his glory, was laid out on the bed with his knees spread wide, his eyes begging him for something that he did not expect.

_It looks like I'm going to be in for a rough ride._

"What do I do now?" Cloud asked, and Sephiroth seemed to take a little bit of pity on him.

"You know what to do. Use the oil to make it easier."

Cloud looked down to his cock and thought, or perhaps the proper word would be beg, for it to get harder. It needed to be harder, like Sephiroth's was.

Why did Sephiroth have to do this to him? Cruel, beyond all reasonable doubt. Was he truly serious about this, or once Cloud was poised for entering him, Sephiroth would flip him on his back and take him hard?

From the wibbling eyes that Sephiroth was giving him, probably not.

"I, uh... really don't know what to do..." Cloud said, feeling pink touch his cheeks. But, Sephiroth did not so much as blink.

"You don't want me, do you?" Sephiroth whispered, pulling his legs in, a croak coming from his throat. "I"m not what you wanted—this is always how they always act. Why can't I just be me, why do you want me to lie to myself, and to you? Relationships aren't built on lying and not accepting your partners!"

"I, I accept you just fine!" Cloud finally gave, and sighed deeply. There was a lot of sighing this night, wasn't there? "The oil?"

Sephiroth's cat eyes cleared almost instantly of any lingering tears, and he reached over into his nightstand, and pulled out the bottle. He poured a generous amount of the fluid into his navel, and put it back on the bed. "You know what to do."

_I really, really don't... Oh Gaia, would it sound awful if I said I wanted my mother?_

Cloud dipped his fingers into Sephiroth's navel, collecting a generous portion of the fluid on his fingers. He experimentally took a sniff, and nearly gagged, but managed to hide it marginally well.

Who would have thought that Sephiroth had a thing for cheap flower oil?

"Do you like it? It's a carnation-daisy-peony hybrid oil that I found a few months back... One of the girls in my fanclub gave it to me, actually... I've been using it for..." Sephiroth blushed, "touching myself..."

Cloud swallowed.

So awkward.

"So, I should just take this and, um," Cloud held out his flower-mashup oiled hand.

"Put them between my legs, touch me in ways no other man should. Make me yours!"

Cloud shuddered.

"Okay, okay..." Cloud put two of his fingers together and stared at them for a moment until Sephiroth opened his legs wide, and Cloud saw the pink hole that he was supposed to violate.

_Well, here goes nothing._

Cloud put two fingers against the man, and pushed in, quite hard if he knew his own strength. Perhaps it was the anger of the situation acting out, because there was frustration in his hand, and this wasn't supposed to be how he lost his virginity.

Sephiroth was squishy—there was no other way of putting it. Sephiroth's insides were as human as anyone else's, even while hyped up with half his body being a mako-infused ball of female—er, male.

Sephiroth moaned wantonly, thrusting his hips forward, attempting to impale himself further on Cloud's fingers. "Oooh," he whimpered under Cloud's rather lack-luster fingers, obviously paying no mind to how little life there was in any of the ministrations.

"Cloud, take me now, you sweet, sexy thing, you!"

_Here goes nothing._

Cloud jerked himself up and into Sephiroth's body, feeling strong muscles tighten around him, and despite the amount of lubrication used, Cloud felt there should have been a little more.

Sephiroth, however, seemed to disagree.

"Ohhhhhhh," the man moaned loudly, far loudly than he really should have been. At first, Cloud thought it was a moan of pain, and nearly pulled himself out. He moved back a little to slide his cock out of Sephiroth (who was obviously not ready for this, and neither was he, if he were honest) when the man exaggeratedly moaned again, even louder, and bucked his hips up.

"Oh, Cloud," the man crooned, sweat (or tears, Cloud couldn't tell the different) matted Sephiroth's cheeks. "Oh, Cloud," he repeated.

Flustered, Cloud put his hand around the base, where his balls shuffled against Sephiroth's skin, and with a soft _pop_ fully removed himself.

"Go back in, in! I want to be so full. So full," the man repeated and almost came.

Cloud sucked a breath between his teeth to prevent him from smacking the man in front of him. Instead, with a bit more vindictiveness than was necessary, he pushed himself back in.

Sephiroth mewled like a cat in heat, and stretched himself more to take the intrusion. He seemed to be enjoying himself, at least. From the way he panted and cried, (the tracks weren't sweat, Cloud was sure once the man's cat eyes literally filled with tears) he seemed to be having one joyous time, but Cloud still asked, after a few minutes of thrusting, if Sephiroth was okay. It would have been what he wanted Sephiroth to do, anyway.

But, just as he opened his mouth to ask, the man came.

_Did he just... shoot his cum in my mouth? _

Cloud jerked his hips instinctively, turning his head to gag and spit on the other side of the bed, barely noticing that Sephiroth was still in his euphoric high (and thus probably didn't even notice that Cloud had probably tore something in him, because if the pain he was feeling in his lower extremities was any indication, the other would be 10 times worse.) Grabbing a fistful of blankets, not caring if Sephiroth tumbled out of them and nearly onto the floor, Cloud wiped out his mouth.

He preferred the taste of cloth than Sephiroth's slightly glowing semen.

"I'm sorry," Cloud said after a moment of cleaning off his face, when e was met with the face of an absolutely crestfallen Sephiroth. "I just..."

Sephiroth bit his lip. "Did you not... did you not like it?" There was perspiration sliding down Sephiroth's body, tears trekking down his cheeks. "You didn't even..."

"I'm fine, really," Cloud insisted, though really it wasn't exactly true. He lost his virginity and humiliated himself in one (ha) stroke. It was the worst experience of his life, and honestly Cloud did not look forward to ever doing it again. "It's... it's fine."

Sephiroth took in a shuddering breath (still coming down from his own euphoric high) and crawled against the crumpled blankets toward Cloud, wrapping his strong and warm arms around Cloud. "I ruined your first time, didn't I?"

Cloud put his hand on top of Sephiroth's. "It's just... not what I was expecting," Cloud admitted. "Zack had actually pulled me aside to make sure that I knew you were going to be the 'top' in the bedroom... I figured it would like that, anyway. I'm just..." Cloud removed his hand from Sephiroth's and ran it through his hair. "I didn't expect that."

"Do you not love me anymore?" Sephiroth asked, and though his voice was surprisingly strong, Cloud could feel the tingles and shakes in the man's hands. "Was I so bad that you don't want to be with me?"

"Of course not. But," Cloud conceded, "I think that we should probably go a bit slower next time."

_Very, very slow._

* * *

**This story was written in response to the "Death Writing Meme." Do not take it seriously; the point was to write something someone (in this case, Yina) knew that you just did not do well at all. I'm not really a huge writer for Sephiroth/Cloud, and definitely not Cloud/Sephiroth, and this can't even be considered to have anything to do with the characters. My prompt was "Cloud/Sephiroth. Sephy has a secret. Acts all tough, but in reality he's a HUGE WIDE-EYED WIBBLING UKE who wants Cloud to top him, HARD. A la, "Oh, Cloud, take me, you sexy pirate!" (fic must include this exact quote)." And she got what she wanted. **

**Again, this is not serious. At all. (And note that I actually gave a reason for Sephiroth's sudden and very recent change. Got to love/hate fangirls.) **

**Please Review!**


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